This is a post I’ve written over and over in my mind now for years.
I know that this is going to come as a shock to many of you.
Those closest to me already know my truth and what has been happening in my life this year.
I hope that you will understand what I’m about to share with you, I’m opening up and being vulnerable with you in sharing my heart.
I would love to continue sharing our life journey together in this next phase of my life but if you can’t do that for whatever reason then that’s ok too.
If you wish to privately discuss any of this with me, as always I’m happy to talk with you, I just ask that you respect my boundaries with regard to things of a super personal nature.
I have some news I wanted to share, news that may (or may not) change the nature of our relationship/friendship moving forward, depending on how you respond.
For the most part I’ve had a great life. Recent history has presented challenges including a super difficult relationship, ongoing health challenges in the form of chronic fatigue and depression/anxiety. But I’ve been on the road to recovery and have been able to start rebuilding my life this year.
In August I was finally able to work out WTF has been going on with me and why life has been such a struggle.
A moment of clarity and brutal self honesty led to the acknowledgement that I was transgender, and since then much of the burden I’ve been carrying has lifted.
From that moment I no longer needed to engage in the ongoing process of trying to make everyone happy, and I no longer care about what people think of me.
My truth has indeed set me free.
The most important thing I need you to understand is that I’m still me.
I’m still Jamie the compassionate, heart centred person you know and love. I’m just allowing myself to be more authentic in who I am, and be more honest with myself (and you).
So far the few hundred people who know my truth have been amazing in their support and I’m encouraged every day knowing that I have such open minded, mature, supportive and caring people in my world.
For everyone who chooses to stay in my world this is what I need from you.
I need you to help me celebrate my newly uncovered and discovered womanhood.
I need you to tell me I am beautiful, not because I necessarily need to hear this but because you should say this to every woman in your life.
I need you to continue to be the amazing humans you’ve always been.
I need you to accept and support my choices even though at this stage you may not yet fully understand them.
I need to you reach out, talk with me, and ask questions if you are confused, hurt or need help understanding this.
And I need you to not get all weird. Actually … stay your weird and wonderful selves, just don’t get weird about this because there is nothing weird about it. In fact, to me this decision is the one thing in my life that has made the most sense.
I’m happy to share details of my journey with you and how much sense this makes to me, and as such I’ve written about my journey if you’re curious to learn more. As always I’m happy to answer any (sensible not too personal) questions you may have:
The blog picks up my story in August, just prior to making the decision to transition. Subsequent entries lead you through my journey since then.
Thank you in advance for your interest in my life and in my blog.
So that we are clear, I’ve already accepted that a few of you are going to react negatively to this news. I’ve watched a few of you walk a path in life and develop personal beliefs such that I can no longer relate to who you are. Actually if I continue in the theme of being brutally honest it is me who has changed. Personal evolution will do that.
I certainly don’t want to push you away, however if you feel you need to distance yourself or cut ties from me then do that. I don’t need to know about it, and please don’t take any parting shots on your way out … just walk away. There is no need for nastiness, rumours or general unpleasantness. We can both go our own ways in life and I wish you all the best on your journey.
I am already blessed with so many amazing people in my life and don’t need you if you can’t support my choices.
However if you value our friendship but find that my news confuses or hurts you, or you just can’t understand why I’d do this please reach out to me. As I said, I’m happy to chat about where I’m at and explain why this was necessary. Reading my blog will answer many of the questions you likely have, but in the event you still need to clarify things then let’s talk.
As far as my transition goes, I’m not under any illusion that this will be a walk in the park. My body has already started the process of undergoing the changes associated with a second puberty, and I face numerous surgeries in the future. I also face the loss of male privilege (yes guys it IS a thing), and the potential for bigotry and general lack of respect often aimed at people in the LGBTIQ community.
Despite the absolute personal rewards, fulfilment and self acceptance this has already brought me I know my life of as a transgender woman could be challenging at times. There will be occasions when I may reach out to some of you to lean on for support. I hope the support I’ve offered many of you during difficult times in your life can be reciprocated when required.
Finally, I know some of you personally know my family. They are adjusting to this change in their own way and continue to be accepting and supportive. If you’ve got an issue with me or my choices please contact me directly and leave my family out of this. They (and mum in particular) have dealt with enough shit over the past few years that they don’t need you adding any more to their lives. If however you personally know them well enough to reach out to see if they are okay, then do that.
To my inner circle, thank you again for being so amazing.
I know some of you have felt a little awkward, not knowing how to address me.
Well, this is the moment that from now on I wish to be referred to by Jamie and I’d like you to use female pronouns when talking about me.
Jamie, she, her … it’s quite simple really 💕
I’m so grateful to have you in my life, and to be living the second half of my life as the woman I’ve always felt I was.